7 Days/7 Plays: "Fro-Yo."

Yogurt shop; one of those self-service yogurt shops that are all the rage nowadays. MATTHEW sits alone at a table, eating yogurt. CASHIER stands at the cash register, filing her long, dark red nails. Behind her are the yogurt machines. Girls A, B, and C enter. They are young, attractive, collegiate; the kind that always get their way. Always. MATTHEW watches the girls as they grab a cup and examine the yogurts. He is attracted to them. Girls A, B, and C fill their cups with yogurt, then commence eating their yogurt while CASHIER is turned. MATTHEW is bewildered. Girl A sticks the cup to her face. Girl B pulls out a spoon and eats hers. Girl C dumps her yogurt in her purse and pours more into her cup. They each get second, thirds, etc.

MATTHEW: Excuse me.

CASHIER ignores him. She is engrossed in her nails.

MATTHEW: Excuse me!

CASHIER looks up, annoyed.

MATTHEW: Do you not see what's going on here?

CASHIER turns around. The girls are pouring their yogurt.

CASHIER: It seems to me that these nice young ladies are getting some yogurt, sir. Do you have a problem with that?

MATTHEW: Yes, yes I do, when I came into this establishment and paid for my yogurt like an honest member of this society.

CASHIER: I'm sure they will pay for their yogurt. Will you pay for your yogurt, girls?

Girls A, B, and C are clearly taking more than they should. Yogurt is spilling out of Girl C's purse. They nod and smile.

MATTHEW: Are you blind?

CASHIER: Sir, I will ask you to please refrain from name calling.

MATTHEW: Look at her purse!

CASHIER: (looking at her purse) Oh no. Oh no, no, no. I do not think so.

MATTHEW: Thank you!

CASHIER: Is that the new Coach purse they came out with for the Fall catalogue? 

GIRL C: Yes! Isn't it so cute?

CASHIER: It's fabulou - 

MATTHEW: This is bullshit!

Girls A, B, and C, as well as CASHIER gasp.

CASHIER: Sir, I am going to have to ask you to calm down or else I will call the authorities.

MATTHEW: You listen to me, you. All of you. I work ten hours a day. I put in my time. I come here once a week to enjoy my sugar-free yogurt with three raspberries and four almonds. I pay the price for this yogurt. I sit here, eat, and go about my life. I am not going to sit here and stand for the dishonesty that these bitches are showing.

The Girls all begin crying at the word "bitches."

CASHIER: Okay! That is it! I have had it with your disrespect! I am calling the authorities and they will remove you from this store and you will never come back!

MATTHEW: Oh, I don't give a rat's ASS!

Two COPS enter the yogurt shop.

CASHIER: Oh thank God, you're here, Officers!

MATTHEW: You've got to be kidding me.

CASHIER: This man has assaulted myself and these three young ladies!

COP 1: Is this true, sir?

MATTHEW: Does it matter?

COP 2: (handcuffing MATTHEW) You have the right to remain silent - 

MATTHEW: Can I at least finish my yogurt?

EVERYONE EXCEPT MATTHEW: NO!

Lights out. End.